


Three Sirens and A Baby

by Gemini_00



Series: Batfamily Shorts [38]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Catwoman (Comics), Gotham City Sirens (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Child Jason Todd, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Jason isn't Kidnapped, Kid Fic, Kidnapping, Little Jason Todd - Freeform, Lying to Batman, Marv is, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-05 23:22:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18376181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_00/pseuds/Gemini_00
Summary: While fighting a dealing villains, the sirens team up with Red Hood. Selina, in attempts to prove to Bruce that she could keep up with the Bat life, promises to look after the Bat. Unfortunately the very much grown vigilante is now a five year old stuck with the sirens. Can Selina fix this without Bruce finding out or is Harley Quinn going to adopt the little Hood?





	1. Baby Hood

This was not part of the plan Selina thought as she held the little kid, far too small and thing for his age like most crime alley kids are. Jason tightened his arms around her while complaining about the cold in his far too big tee shirt and wrapped in his older self’s leather jacket. Harley had a hair pin that they used to tighten the boxers around his small frame but they kept sliding.

 

Oh god, Bruce was hesitant about letting the kids patrol with the sirens before… 

 

Stupid dumb meta.

 

Stupid dumb and dead meta… Though, that isn’t anyone’s fault but his own. He’s the one that thought he there was a dumpster underneath the ledge when he jumped and threw a very tiny Jason Todd at her.

 

“Please tell me you can fix this,” Selina pleaded to Ivy when they reached the shared apartment of the two sirens. 

 

“I talk to plants, I’m not a witch,” Ivy deadpanned, “Just call your Bat up and have him fix it.”

 

“Maybe we should talk to him first,” Harley pointed out, “Just a thought.”

 

Selina hadn’t even talked to the child besides scooping him up. She doesn’t know how this works. What he remembers. What he knows. She put him down on his feet and crouched down to his level. Calculating turquoise eyes stared at the three sirens with suspicion, but he didn’t scream or run. That could mean there was some familiarity.

 

“Jason, do you know who I am?” Selina asked him.

 

He nodded at her before staring at the other two. Ivy looked indifferent while the resident psychotic made silly faces at him. It wasn’t as amusing as she wished it to be when she was covered in blood and white make up. Still, the child didn’t run and scream by being in the custody of the sirens.

 

“Catwoman,” He answered.

 

“Maybe you should take off the mask, Kitty Cat,” Harley whispered, “I think it’s scaring him.”

 

Selina glared at Harley, “Really, Pennywise? I’m scaring him?”

 

Harley pouted and sat down on the couch across from him with her arms crossed like a child. Jason seemed a little more open with the idea of Harley Quinn sulking on a couch than staring at him. Still, perhaps the former psychiatrist had a point. Selina took off her headpiece and goggles to reveal her face.

 

“How about now, Kiddo?” She asked. The grin consumed his tiny face when he launched at her. She nearly fell back with how much force the malnourished child had in him.

 

“Selina!” He cheered. Well that answered her question a bit. He had memories of her, somewhat infantilised that made him jump across the room to hug her instead of Catwoman, “Can we go home?”

 

Home probably meant manor. Which meant Alfred. Which meant Bruce being very very unhappy.

 

“Well, sweetie, eventually,” She rubbed his head, “Do you remember being big?”

 

He frowned before thinking about it for a second. There was somewhat a look on his face that clued her in but eventually he just shrugged. That did not help her at all. Damnit, all Jason had to do was not look this guy in the eyes and he’d be good, but of course his helmet fell off and here they were.

 

“Well, we need to keep you here just for a bit,” She told him.

 

“No we are not,” Ivy glared.

 

“Yes. We. Are,” Selina snapped. Ivy looked like she was ready to argue about having the currently tiniest son of the bat hiding out in her apartment but kept her mouth shut. She grabbed Harley by the arm and dragged her into the other room. The blonde perked up and waved goodbye at the little one. Jason hid behind Selina at Ivy’s anger.

 

“Are you sure we can’t go home?” He pouted at her. She ran her fingers through his hair, nearly ready to answer when her cell rang. It was Bruce.

 

“Hey handsome,” She said, “Sorry about the jumper situation again…”

 

He sighed on the other end, “Well without him, we still have no intel until Zatanna returns from Earth five. You and the others should return to the cave where we can go over everything. Did he say anything to you at all that could clue you in?”

 

Jason watched her curiously from where he stood. He certainly recognized the exasperated voice on the other end.

 

“Oh lover, I can’t say he was very talkative. Nor can I say we are the best fit to return. It was a tiring fight and-”

 

“Did Jason get hurt?” He asked immediately, the worry was etched into his voice. Her stomach nearly emptied itself, he always assumed one of his little birds would get hurt, and she felt the distrust that she was unable to care for them. 

 

“Of course not,” She spoke evenly, “Ivy suffered some wounds and Jason was knocked unconscious but we managed. That’s all. We’ve agreed to stay at Ivy and Harley’s hideout for the time being. She truly needs me lover and Jason could use rest.”

 

He grunted from the other end but didn’t fight her much more on it. She’d feel alot less guilty if he could pull a ‘I’m-Batman- And- You’re- A- Criminal’ on her.

 

“But speaking of intel? How are the other victims faring? Anyway to make them- er, big again?”

 

“Not yet. They seem to have their older memories mostly- just infantilized. While I’m not magic user, it doesn’t seem overly complex nor permanent. We just need to find a way to readjust it without making them grow too old. Not too mention, the longer they are in this stage the more likely they are to maintain it. Or revert even further back. Victim one can’t recall any of his currents memories…”

 

Oh no…

 

“What time is Zatanna supposed to be here tomorrow?” Selina asked.

 

“I am unsure. Magic does not follow an analog clock unfortunately,” He grimaced, “But please try to come in the morning. Whatever information you may not realize you have could help her pinpoint the perfect remedy,” He said.

 

“Okay baby,” She agreed, watching as the little boy raised an eyebrow in Alfred like fashion, “I gotta go, lover. Goodbye.”

 

She didn’t even wait for his response when she hung up the cell and stared back down at the little street rat. He crossed his arms in an oddly Red Hood like fashion with suspicious eyes, “You told my Dad that I was asleep.”

 

How cute. He called Bruce Dad. 

 

“You’re about to be,” She told him, “You’re going to take a little nap right over there while I figure out how to fix this.”

 

“Fix what?” He squinted at her. She bit her tongue trying to think of a way to explain this- if she should even explain this. Well, the kid doesn’t seem to be overtly whelmed. Whatever form of memory he carries if helping him cope.

“You remember Dick? Right?” She tested the water. He scrunched up his face but nodded, “Okay, what about Tim and Damian? Do you know who they are?”

 

He nodded, “My little brothers.”

 

“And how old are they?” She asked him calmly. He seemed to be doing the math in his head, but it was clear that it didn’t add up. He stared at her longer, “I’m five. But I’m older than them, aren’t I?”

 

“Yes,” Selina agreed, “See, what I mean. You’re supposed to be this beg but right now you’re this little.”

 

“Shouldn’t my dad know?” He frowned, “You’re lying to him.”

 

“It’s not lying,” She frowned, “It’s just saving time.”

 

Great. She is arguing ethics with a five year old. And she is losing. The little glare that he stuck on her reminded her far too much of Bruce for it to be normal, she pushed him towards the couch.

 

“Time for bed,” She ordered but he stomped his foot.

 

“No!”

 

“Yes,” She argued.

 

“No! I want to go home and see my dad! He’ll make me big again,” He pouted.

 

Ivy and Harley came bouncing out of their room. Harley’s white make up washed off to reveal the friendly looking onesie bounded blonde while Ivy grudged behind in a sexy silky jammies… She looked rather annoyed.

 

“She’d rather play with the baby than play with me,” Ivy pouted.

 

“Hey kiddo, what’s wrong cutie?” Harley asked. Jason glared at them all with suspicion but decided Selina was the bad guy this time and turned to the blonde.

 

“I want to go home and be big again but ‘Lena won’t take me,” He pouted, “and I’m hungry.”

 

“Well so am I! It’s never good to think on an empty stomach. So how about you and I get something to eat, whaddya think? I’ll even let you pick,” She winked.

 

“Can we have chilli dogs?” He asked. Harley squealed with delight and dragged the tiny Jason over to the kitchen before tossing him on the counter while she got to work on making the disgusting dogs. This left a desperate Selina with an annoyed Ivy, said annoyed woman dragged Selina to the side.

 

“Take him back before he puts his grubby little hands all over my plants,” Ivy snarled. She was tender towards children- this did not mean she liked them.

 

“I’m not taking him back to Bruce like that,” Selina gasped.

 

“Then take him to a day care. and - Do not touch that,” Ivy yelled at Jason who flinched a the scream his face turning white with fear. Immediately Harley was bouncing him on a hip.

 

“Don’t worry about the mean green lady. I’ll pour water on her and she’ll melt if I have’ta,” Harley grinned. She tickled Jason a bit. It was nearly cute.

 

“Like the witch in the Wizard of Oz ,” Jason smiled, “I like the rainbow song!”

 

“Me too!” Harley grinned before she began to belt it out loud. Jason was giggling to the woman, forgetting about Ivy and Selina in seconds.

 

“Help me,” Selina threatened, “Or I wait until Jason forgets everything and slide Harley adoption papers. I know for a fact how much kids truly get in the way of adult fun time. This is just a taste. So help me fix this.”

 

Ivy scowled bur relented, “I may know somebody, but it could be bad. Marv doesn’t locked himself up in the physiatric unit in arkham himself. He’s a meta with abilities to age people up… rapidly. He turned his neighbor into a two hundred year old woman by touching her for five seconds.”

 

“But my genius plant friend could figure out how to use that,” Selina grinned.

 

“I’m a biochemist,” She frowned.

 

“Ivy you’re a genuis and you know it!”

 

Ivy rolled her eyes, “I could help control it possibly. A few equations and some youth defying plants and oils. But, Marv locks himself up for a reason. He’s in arkham.”

 

“I’ve gotten you two through that revolving door enough that I could draw a map of the place,” Selina smirked, “So you two are going to wait here while I-”

 

“You’re not leaving him with-”

 

“Adoption. Papers,” Selina threatened. Ivy spared one glance at Harley setting up the od VHS area with the Wizard the Oz while the mini Red Hood dripped chili on Ivy’s green couch. The little boy was scooped onto Harley’s lap as they screeched along to ‘Over The Rainbow’ together.

 

Frankly, Ivy found it gross.

 

“Make this quick,” Ivy sighed. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Selina waited till the guard went on break before knocking out the one in the incoming shift, leaving the computer free for the cat to look for. She nabbed the keycard from the guard before using that little drive Oracle forgot to take back in order to hack the system.

 

“Come on, Marv,” Selina whispered to herself as she found Marvlin Rudolph’s patient file. The man enrolled himself in the year of 2008 and hadn’t left since. Not even during the multiple Arkham break out that have taken place, “Okay Kitten, time to take a trip outside.”

  
  


Ivy worked on the serum rub that should prevent too much aging from happening while calculating the exact amount of time it would take for Marvin to touch Jason and age him. So far .021 seconds to be between the ages of seventeen to twenty, while he wears the serum. So far into her research, he carries the same memories so the aging up process should just mature those memories. Meanwhile, Harley entertained the little urchin.

 

“Where’d a‘lina go?” The mini hood asked the other two sirens as he skipped up to where Ivy was working.

 

“Out,” Ivy deadpanned, “Now go bother Harley.”

 

“But-” Jason began to teary eye up, “She’s supposed to take me to my dad.”

 

“Well right now she is out,” Ivy snapped, “Now shoo off before I decide to turn into a seed.”

 

“Come on, Jay Jay,” Harley said in that calming tone that she used when Ivy had a flashback to the painful process when Pamela Isley become Poison Ivy, “Lets eat Ivy’s fancy vegan ice cream.”

 

But there was nothing except for Harley’s urgings. Ivy finally put down her work to watch the young boy. He was trembling as Harley grabbed him, large turquoise eyes looking for something or somebody.

 

“Lina left me,” He blubbered, “She- she thinks D-dad will be up-upset with her if he sees me so she le-left me. And- and Dad won-won’t even know that-”

 

“Awe, suga’,” Harley scooped him up, “She just left to go get a lil’ somethin’ special ta’ fix ya’ right up.”

 

“I don’t wanna be fixed,” He pouted, “I just want my dad and Alfie.”

 

“You’ll see them soon,” Harley frowned, looking at Ivy desperately for support. Ivy raised an eyebrow. What was she supposed to do with the little creature? Rock it? Give it a pacifier? This is why she should have just given the little bird right back to the Big Bat. Maybe it could keep it alive this time.

 

“I want them now!” He nearly screamed. Normally their neighbors ignore anything coming from the infamous villainesses’ apartment out of fear. But a child screaming usually causes one good samaritan to call in a complaint. Ivy doesn’t want to deal with the overprotective bat with only herself and Harley here. 

 

“Child,” Ivy interrupted, “Have you ever seen a greenhouse?”

 

“I think so,” he whimpered, his attention diverting from whatever deep rooted abandonment issues he has to one of childhood curiosity. The woman was not eager to allow him near her babies but she supposed it was a necessary evil until Harley can take his attention away again, “Alfie has one.”

 

Ivy focuses her energy on the Hibiscus in the middle of the table opening up for him to see, “I guarantee you that your charming little butler’s greenhouse is not a thing like mine.”

 

His eyes widened with that childlike amazement, meanwhile Harley stared at her girlfriend cautiously as the green lady led the way to the roof. The boy wandered inside, heeding the woman’s warning of touching the plants. Harley pulled her girlfriend aside, “If you make a venus flytrap eat him then you are in big trouble.”

  
  


Selina finally found the cells that contained the older ones, the ones that weren’t much of a threat and easily forgotten. Selina never had to sneak into this area of Arkham, still the old are was just as guarded as the rest of the place. So not very well. 

 

“Marvlin?” Selina opened the door. A man, scared and hunched, his in the corner with gloves on his hands. He looked at her with wild eyes, but not that of a mad man, more like a teenager that hadn’t slept in days.

 

“I already told your wretched demon bat no. It’s too dangerous for me to get involved,” Marv said with despair. Honestly, It was pathetic. For Godsakes, he has gloves on.

 

“Oh honey, this aint me asking,” Selina purred before lashing out for her whip and grabbing the man’s gloved wrist. With a tug the man came tumbling to her in order to avoid falling on the ground, “A Miss Pamela Isley offered you up. So here’s the deal lovely, you’re gonna take off that little glove do some magic- let Ivy jump in so my stepkid isn’t made ancient and I can return him to his father in the rightful age, am I clear?”

 

“Crystal,” The man gulped.

  
  


“Doesn’t she look pretty?” Harley giggled. Ivy tossed a glare at her, she’d be wringing her neck for this if she weren’t so cute. After the child grew bored with the green house, Ivy attempted to put it to bed but the bat was nocturnal. Somehow she had been convinced to be Harley’s and Hood’s doll.

 

“She needs more glitter on her eyes!” Little Hood cheered on the blonde.

 

Ivy gave a deadpan look as much as she could with the little urchin sticking his sausage link sized finger in his eye to apply more blue sparkles on her eye. She might break that little hand if it pulls on her hand or pokes her eye one more time.

 

“Isn’t this fun, Jay Jay?” Harley grinned at him.

 

“I’ve never done make up like this before,” Little hood cheered, “I’ll show Cass when I’m big again!”

 

“Oh joy,” Ivy sighed.

  
  


Selina dragged the man to the door, sneaking him throughout town acting as if he was the grandfather instead of an arkham patient that she kidnapped. The final step to the door where she opened it to find three figure passed out on the couch, one jumping awake to the sound of the door opening.

 

The redhead that she left looking mildly annoyed yet still like a green superstar… now looks like she’s taking make up tips from the Joker with vegan ice cream dripping on the table and furniture flipped around the room. Harley had Jason pulled on top of her chest but slobbering happily on her chest. It was cute, but that kid belonged to somebody else and he was very territorial.

 

“You look great, Pammy,” Selina held back her laugh. The red head was ten seconds away from ripping her head off, “Really digging the new look.”

 

“You’re running out of lives,” Ivy glared.

 

“Thank you knock off Ariel,” She smirked, “Or is it Ursula?”

 

“I’d like to see you deal with the rugrat all night. First he’s crying then he fell into the roses then Harley is patching him up then he’s putting makeup on me and Harley is painting his toe but now we want ice cream and there’s a food fight and-”

 

“I get it,” Selina smirked before picking the small boy off Harley.

 

“Ready to do this? You can go back to sleep and you can have some nice little room at Arkham,” Selina told the two.

 

“Thank god,” both metas muttered.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Marv is a monster in Gotham (TV Show). When he touches you, you rapidly age. Though Gotham is not part of the shorts, I may use some of their plots or characters at times.


End file.
